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Situations:
 | Conversation falters, argumentation goes round in circles,
inextricable, fixed positions, verbal attacks, insults, own helplessness,
anger, frustration about style of conversation |
Definition:
| Communication about communication, negotiating about the
negotiation style, talking about the conversation´s “how” |
Behaviour:
| You virtually pull the hand brake during the negotiation, leave the
factual discussion and go “on the balcony” to look at the discussion
“from outside”. |
Formulations:
| Use the continuous form to describe the discussion process from
your point of view: “I am thinking about what is happening at this
table”.
| Absolutely avoid reproaches to your partner (“You are so
aggressive”). Instead, talk about yourself, use so-called I-messages and
put your own emotion on the table : “I think it´s too bad that we
apparently are in a dead-end street now. I have the feeling that I only
encounter disapproval from you and I notice this makes me agry”.
| Conclude the meta communication with an open question: “How can
we change that?”, “What would need to happen for us to get out of this
dead-end street?” |
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